Excerpts from Delightful Reflections: Quips, Conjectures, and Pontifications

Any residents of Washington, B.C. were most likely Native Americans.

Someone singing “Do Cry for Me, Argentina” is likely rather self-centered.

Granting a child’s Christmas wish for a hippopotamus would, under most circumstances, be somewhat unkind to his or her parents.

Morally marginal individuals ought to be aware that what happens in Vegas may stay on Facebook
and Youtube for a long time!

One would hope that a piece of textile with the message that “Dog food is delicious” is a dog coat.

It is mean for parents not to allow their children to clean their rooms.

It is really sad to hear one elementary school student bragging to another that “My funeral is going to be bigger than your funeral!”

Authors who are afraid of the dark should refrain from hiring ghostwriters.

One rarely ever hears any objection being expressed to the comparison of pears and grapefruits.

If Lynn Anderson suddenly has a memory of this, the decent thing to do is to record “I DID Promise You a Rose Garden.”

If it does not look like a Dachshund, does not walk like a Dachshund, and does not bark like a
Dachshund, it might be considered deceptive to list it on Craigslist as a Dachshund without disclosing these material facts.

A nun who wakes up the whole neighborhood while beating up a fellow nun for disturbing the peace needs a serious talk by the mother
superior about goal displacement and constructive ways to deal with problem co-workers.

There does not appear to be any support in respected, peer reviewed journals for the hypothesis that a pear a day keeps the dentist away.

Cain may have been the first communist.

To minimize the risk of injury, it might be helpful to move one’s tongue before turning the other
cheek.

When in Rome, one should try to make a profit on the Romans.

It would have been nice if Carly could have clarified whether, if attending a party on a yacht, one
should walk aboard as if walking into a party or as if walking onto a yacht.